The Kirk's - Boys-R-Us!

The Title Is A Work In Progress. . . . .

It's either:

Another Confession Session

OR

This Is My Brain On A.D.D. Overload

Yeah, yeah - like last time I don't have anything really riveting to confess to, I'm a stay at home mom of two, who is hopelessly devoted to my guys (the husband included) and although at times I think I want to run away - 30 minutes away from the house and I'm missing everyone and wanting to come back! So this is more like just the rambling vent of the crazy thoughts I have jumbled up in my head at any one given moment! Just keep that in mind in case we should meet & you ask me something - if I don't immediately respond, well it's cause I'm trying to filter through these crazy thoughts!

1. I DON'T LOVE BBQ! There I said It, I know riiiight?! What is wrong with me? I was born in Florida. Raised (since 89) in Georgia. Went to college in Alabama and I could take or leave BBQ. And honestly, for the most part, I LEAVE IT! Now anyone who actually knows me knows I'm not the best carnivore. And it's true that my version of BBQ - a piece of grilled white meat chicken (read boneless, skinless chicken breast) with a smear of Sweet Baby Rays - cause like the bottle says "The Sauce is the BOSS!' - isn't what most envision when they hear those three letters. . . . But don't think that my lack luster relationship with BBQ is cause I haven't been around 'the good stuff' cause I have it's just not for me! I've been to a country fried 4th of July party where the day before they buried an entire pig & then we watched it rotate over an open fire forever - which being a Professional Biology major was just more like a science experiment then a culinary delight, but everyone was raving about how good it was, smelled, tasted & well for me I just kept thinking - in college I dissected some of your babies (anyone else do the fetal pig or the bi-horn uterine of a donor pig dissection, anyone, Buhler?) then quickly moved away from the carcass of the beast! I've also been to a party that had Kansas City's Famous BBQ flown in - I must admit that those baked beans were stuff of legend, oh they were SO good, but the pulled pork and beef brisket were way too meaty for me! And honestly what the hell is 'brisket' I mean WHAT part of WHAT animal does that even come from!? Is it pork, or beef? I don't know and therefore I don't care to eat it - cause I'll tell ya right now "Fear IS a factor for Me!" Don't even get me started on the sauces - that is enough to frustrate the crap out of a hungry person ~ some are way too sweet, others are so full of vinegar that they burn your nose before you can even taste the stuff, and others are so thick it's like paste or worse yet is when they put mustard in there! Really Mustard in my BBQ sauce. . . It never fails to amaze me though, especially living in the sticks the people who LOVE BBQ, I mean some people are passionate about the stuff, they are practically brought to tears just thinking about it and their enthusiasm for the stuff makes me wonder if I'm missing out on anything - but after having tried eating it several times both at restaurants & the homemade kind I think my mind is made up me & BBQ aren't meant to be BFFs!!
2. I HATE VAMPIRE MOVIES!!! Yeah, I'll let you marinate on that one for a while. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . This isn't new, I've actually never been into Vampire movies, or Werewolf Movies, or Frankenstein movies, or Mummy Movies or Dracula - wait isn't he the head of the Vampires - or any other lame Halloween costume or failed breakfast cereal theme inspired movie. And PLEASE don't think that this "New Moon" generation (is that what it's called?) or the Team Jacob vs. Team Edwin debate is going to get me to give them another try - cause it's not! My best friend Melissa, is Crazy for the Twilight series - ah that's the name Twilight - and she's tried to talk me into reading the books so we can go see the movies and be twi-moms together - but it's just NOT for me. I don't live under a rock so I've seen the kids who star in the movie and don't get me wrong I don't mind looking at some good looking shirtless guys - but here's the thing they are teenagers!! And YES I realize that in the movie he's hundreds of years old, but since I'm not a twi-hard, and I AM a former high school teacher - it doesn't work that way for me - so my filter for what constitutes HOT does NOT include anyone under 21!! Period, paragraph, end of discussion! I mean would you trust a woman to teach your sons if she was an admitted Twi-hard? Haven't we seen ONE too many cases of 'teacher loves student' in the news lately. . . . anyway I digress - back to the subject - what is with the Vampire obsession? I don't think it's sexy - biting necks & sucking blood - what is sexy about that? One person dies or becomes undead or a zombie - Ooo I forgot that one, yeah I don't dig Zombie movies either, & the other is an admitted cannibal - ugh I just don't get it! And now the obsession has gotten O.O.C. (Out Of Control) I mean seriously - that Twilight crap is EVERYWHERE, Wal*Mart, Books-A-Million, Burger King, talk shows, radio. . . OK maybe not everywhere but you know what I'm saying. . . .And NOW there are countless shows on cable about the secret lives of vamipre wives - or whatever other craptastic name the producers came up with! I hate to say it but I wasn't into them when Buffy was kicking some teenage vampire ass back in the day & I'm NOT into it now even if there is a lot more adult undertones in the movie. If I am going to get the time away from the kids to go to a movie and have to fork over the $50 for tickets & popcorn then by God it better be for something worth watching - like 'Get Him To The Greek' or the upcoming "Eat, Pray, Love"!
3. I DON'T 'DO' SCARY MOVIES!!! Now not in the same category as Vampire movies, although they are both (in my opinion stupid & a waste of time & money) they are disliked for very two different & distinct reasons! I scare WAY TOO EASILY! Yes, it's true just last week when Dave was in New Orleans I was terrified by Kaiden. It was early morning, and I had just walked in Pierce's room since he was 'talking' to me through the crib bars, and I sat on the floor playing peek-a-boo with him, now mind you the house alarm was set to instant and there was NO ONE else home, but out of the corner of my eye I catch something hobbling in towards me and I hate to admit it, but yes I let out a bloodcurdling screech! It was Kaiden & it was the day after his accident so his ankle still hurt!! He heard us playing and climbed out of his crib to come say Hi! See what I mean, I can freak my own freak so I certainly don't need movies that include but are not limited to: gore, guts, psychos, the devil, evil children laughing, clowns, ghosts, possessions, things moving on their own accord - the list goes on & on, but basically if there is more than a little sinister undertone it is a NO-GO for me! Really it's almost embarrassing how easy I can get freaked out & with how overactive my mind already is the last thing I need is to be lying in bed, not sleeping thinking that there is something possessed in my house - cause the boy's toys sometimes decide to 'play' themselves and well if I've just watched a scary movie then I can picture all kinds of bad, scary things in there causing that noise. Just think if I go in that room to investigate and there is some kind of greenish foggy something over where the noise was coming from then as I get closer I can hear the distant sound of children laughing - forget it - I just scared myself typing that! I got freaked beyond sleep from "I Am Legend" and I don't even think that was supposed to be a scary movie - all I know is I don't walk in a room without turning the lights on - If I ever think I see something standing in the dark corner ~ I'm OUTTA THERE!!!!!
4. MY THINK OUTWEIGHS MY DRINK! I know that may need some explanation so here is the back story back in January we went to a neighborhood party where I was over served adult beverages ~ all right you saw through that I'm sure ~ what really happened was I thought I was back in college and played a three hour game of waterfall or it may have been chandelier all I know is there were lots of cups, a couple quarters (I've actually drawn blood with an attempted bounced quarters toss) and super cold keg beer. Yeah, again, not one of my BEST moments. And in true 'no guts no glory' form I did NOT let on how drunk I was until we were home and I had to focus to make it up the stairs, then cause I still thought I was 'back in the day', my booze soaked brain thought - just make yourself sick to get it all out, again cause back then you could do that. Expel that which had put you over the edge, drink a glass of water, two tylenol and wake up for your 8:00 class the next morning. . . . yeah that was then, and unfortunately this was now. . . . I ~ was ~ sick!! My brain was swimming, my stomach was sloshing - I was sweaty, my hands were clammy, my mouth was watering that pre-vomit water but I couldn't imagine swallowing anything else. . . ugh you totally know what I mean (right??) well if not than KUDOS to you!! So the sickness started, and it was very unlike I had remembered ~ it was one quick deposit, oh-no, not this time, this was AWFUL. This time I am holding both hands on the rim of the toilet with full body retching, heaving, gagging, maybe even a few tears, I couldn't even make my 'rock star' pose without getting sick again, and the sickness just kept coming - blugh. So I eventually make my way back to bed, drink NO chug just under a gallon of water and a few extra strength tylenol (do they make any other strength) and pass out. I'm sure you're on the edge of your seat wondering how my Sunday went - probably just a breeze of a day, WRONG! Dave, although also hung over, got up with the boys since I was winning the 'who looks closer to death' contest, and I drank water and tried to sleep. At some point a few hours after the boys got up I realized I need some food in my stomach so after much deliberation and 'slow going' I made it down the stairs just in time to be sick in the powder room at the bottom of the stairs. UGH just reliving that story for this post is making me want to swear off the drink, it wasn't until around 5:00 that Sunday that I started to feel human again. So fast forward a few months till my midtown bar hoping 30th birthday bonanza, our friends Mirela & Kevin were already checked into the hotel so we went up to the room and as soon as we put our bags down I was making a pitcher of that oh so yummy blueberry lemondae. It's one of those sneaky drinkies cause you can't taste the liquor so drink away and then a little later when you start giggeling at everything you realize that there was a cup and a half of vodka in that pitcher. . . So Mir and I were working on that while the boys worked on some cold ones, and life was good. Then we headed to the bar where we were meeting some other friends and it was a couple blocks away so we were thirsty when we got there so I ordered a beer, I hate paying $10 or more for mixed drinks at bars. Like I said it was a little warm out from our hike, and the beer was really cold so the first one went down pretty quick. Then our jumbalya egg rolls came out ~ if you're EVER at front page news you HAVE to get those, they are SO SO SO GOOOOOOOD ~ and being that they are jumbalaya they had some serious kick to them, so there went beer 2! About that time my bestie Mir, had ordered us a round of shooters ~ cause I'm not afraid to admit that I am chicken little when it comes to shooting straight liquor ~ so I was introduced to my first surfer on acid (pineapple juice, Malibu coconut rum & Jaeger) which was quite refreshing, then that was followed by, you guessed it, ice cold beer number 3! EEK, I hadn't eaten much all day (we had our tennis playoffs earlier that morning & my match had gone 3 sets) and our waiter had been so preoccupied with our beverages that he hadn't bothered to take our food order so when I did catch the waiters eye I went ahead and ordered an ice water and let my beer sit for a while. When dinner finally came I got around to finishing drink three, and that's when it started. I started over thinking and underdrinking! Well not really but, yeah I was like OK it's 9:30 I'm 6 drinks in we've got at least 3 or 4 more hours of partying to do (I am NO LONGER a 'party don't stop till 6 in the mornin' kind of chickie!) and I went from being silly tipsy to let's sober up before we go to bed so that we don't spend all day tomorrow regretting my decisions tonight. Much to Mir's dismay I only had one more drink all night, which may have been my favorite, we left FPN and went over to RiRa's for the music & that's where I got a 'Sugary Grapefruit' which was pomegranate juice, grapefruit flavored vodka, grapefruit juice and had a sugared rim, mmmm so refreshing, but it was also here that I drank two more glasses of water. I mean I just kept thinking, if you drink more you WILL be sick and then tomorrow will be completely wasted and I knew I would be miserable! The sad thing is even with slowing way down, drinking water and eating Chinese delivery at 2 in the morning I was still a little sloshy in the morning, not sick just woke up needing my coffee & some breakfast!

So there ya go - more Quirky Kirkisms - oooh I kind of like that name instead of confession session ~ but at this point it is what it is and it ain't what it ain't and I am ready to embrace that!