Pierce is Home!
Persistence and Kindness Go A LONG Way In The NICU
Busting Him Out!
So Grandma Mary left on Sunday after a wonderful week with us and I had hoped to get Pierce home before she had to go for both of our benefit. After we dropped her off at the airport we stopped by the hospital to spend some time with baby Pierce and MaryAnne, his nurse for the weekend who we loved, mentioned the "D" word. For anyone who has ever spent any time in a hospital the "D" word is coveted bliss. Yes I am talking about discharge.
Now as I explained to the nurses it wasn't that I was not grateful for the love and care he was receiving down at Egleston, because I was. But I was convinced that what care he was receiving down there was definitely something I was more than capable of providing and we ALL know that you recover faster and in general do better when you are at home. In fact at one point I asked one of the nurses "So what exactly is he getting down here at Egleston that I couldn't do for him" and when her answer was "nothing" that was it, I knew it was time to get the ball rolling! With this knowledge that I could handle his demands an odd anxiety began to set in, it was almost like a claustrophobic feeling - we were stuck in the NICU. It was just that with all my help gone, and Pierce not being in a desperate state, getting to visit him on a daily basis wasn't going to be a possibility plus I was just itching to have MY BABY! When I added it up Pierce was going on being three weeks old and I had probably only gotten to hold him a total of nine or ten hours. Because as you know there is not a lot of alone time when you are in the hospital, which is a good thing when you are talking about the quality of care but not such a good thing when it comes to Mommy and baby bonding time.
The Agenda
While MaryAnne was in the room with us she took out her clipboard and went over the 'open items' on Pierce's agenda prior to discharge, it included Dave and I each placing the NG tube a second time. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, an NG tube is a NasoGastro tube which basically means a tube you shove up their nose until it hooks a sharp downward turn and heads for their stomach. Not really the most warm and fuzzy thought when it comes to your sweet newborn, but if it's something that has to be done in order to bust the baby out of the NICU our attitude was BRING IT! First they teach you how to listen for the "puff" in the stomach when you blow some air through the tube and listen using the stethoscope, once you have mastered this you get to move onto actually placing the tube. Also you have to measure how long the tube needs to be to reach the stomach and mark your 'stop line' on the tube so you know when you've hit the spot. Then using a little lubricant, a steady hand and the encouraging words from the nurse, I placed my first NG tube. It was actually much easier and went much smoother than I thought. The nurse who helped me place it was very proud of how smoothly it went (she actually said it was better than her first placement) I would critique my performance and say I went just a little too slow once I felt the tube make the downward turn, because I let the tube linger in the gag reflex region a little too long and brought a tear to his eye - bad mommy. Note to self for future placements. The other open items for the parents were that Dave needed to complete his CPR and first aid training, I had done mine on Friday, receive briefing on at home care for everything from his meds to training to use the apnea machine and that we needed to bring the car seat in for the apnea car seat test - basically to make sure that they keep breathing (an important thing) while in the car seat. Then Pierce's agenda included getting a follow up ultra sound of his heart, an X-ray of his lungs and diaphragm, a small blood infusion to help with his hemoglobin levels, then a blood test, and a circumcision. They prepared me that this was an extensive agenda and that probably I should expect to take him home on Tuesday, which was fine but then she mentioned that he was already scheduled for all the tests on Monday and that the CPR training course was also offered on Monday - that was it - in my mind I knew we would do whatever we needed to do to get him out of there the next day!
Persistence and Kindness Go A LONG Way In The NICU
Busting Him Out!
So Grandma Mary left on Sunday after a wonderful week with us and I had hoped to get Pierce home before she had to go for both of our benefit. After we dropped her off at the airport we stopped by the hospital to spend some time with baby Pierce and MaryAnne, his nurse for the weekend who we loved, mentioned the "D" word. For anyone who has ever spent any time in a hospital the "D" word is coveted bliss. Yes I am talking about discharge.
Now as I explained to the nurses it wasn't that I was not grateful for the love and care he was receiving down at Egleston, because I was. But I was convinced that what care he was receiving down there was definitely something I was more than capable of providing and we ALL know that you recover faster and in general do better when you are at home. In fact at one point I asked one of the nurses "So what exactly is he getting down here at Egleston that I couldn't do for him" and when her answer was "nothing" that was it, I knew it was time to get the ball rolling! With this knowledge that I could handle his demands an odd anxiety began to set in, it was almost like a claustrophobic feeling - we were stuck in the NICU. It was just that with all my help gone, and Pierce not being in a desperate state, getting to visit him on a daily basis wasn't going to be a possibility plus I was just itching to have MY BABY! When I added it up Pierce was going on being three weeks old and I had probably only gotten to hold him a total of nine or ten hours. Because as you know there is not a lot of alone time when you are in the hospital, which is a good thing when you are talking about the quality of care but not such a good thing when it comes to Mommy and baby bonding time.
The Agenda
While MaryAnne was in the room with us she took out her clipboard and went over the 'open items' on Pierce's agenda prior to discharge, it included Dave and I each placing the NG tube a second time. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, an NG tube is a NasoGastro tube which basically means a tube you shove up their nose until it hooks a sharp downward turn and heads for their stomach. Not really the most warm and fuzzy thought when it comes to your sweet newborn, but if it's something that has to be done in order to bust the baby out of the NICU our attitude was BRING IT! First they teach you how to listen for the "puff" in the stomach when you blow some air through the tube and listen using the stethoscope, once you have mastered this you get to move onto actually placing the tube. Also you have to measure how long the tube needs to be to reach the stomach and mark your 'stop line' on the tube so you know when you've hit the spot. Then using a little lubricant, a steady hand and the encouraging words from the nurse, I placed my first NG tube. It was actually much easier and went much smoother than I thought. The nurse who helped me place it was very proud of how smoothly it went (she actually said it was better than her first placement) I would critique my performance and say I went just a little too slow once I felt the tube make the downward turn, because I let the tube linger in the gag reflex region a little too long and brought a tear to his eye - bad mommy. Note to self for future placements. The other open items for the parents were that Dave needed to complete his CPR and first aid training, I had done mine on Friday, receive briefing on at home care for everything from his meds to training to use the apnea machine and that we needed to bring the car seat in for the apnea car seat test - basically to make sure that they keep breathing (an important thing) while in the car seat. Then Pierce's agenda included getting a follow up ultra sound of his heart, an X-ray of his lungs and diaphragm, a small blood infusion to help with his hemoglobin levels, then a blood test, and a circumcision. They prepared me that this was an extensive agenda and that probably I should expect to take him home on Tuesday, which was fine but then she mentioned that he was already scheduled for all the tests on Monday and that the CPR training course was also offered on Monday - that was it - in my mind I knew we would do whatever we needed to do to get him out of there the next day!
Pierce doing his apnea car seat testGetting Ready To Get My Baby
I know it seems silly but putting the carseat in my car Sunday night was as exciting as the day I found out I was pregnant with him! I was giddy packing the car with all the bags and containers I could think of to bring down there with me to speed along the process. And thankfully the Robinson's live en route to the hospital and agreed to take Kaiden for the day. So I had Mom stop by Sunday night and gave her a quick 'how to' on putting Kaiden's car seat in her car and got everything he could possibly need for the day packed and ready to go.
I dropped Kaiden off, which I thought might be hard for him since this was the first time I had taken him to their house and not stayed to play, but we walked in and Uncle Todd had his laptop out attempting to work, and Kaiden asked to see a picture of the 'moona' and that was that. I called my Mom when I was pulling out of their driveway and told her "I'm NOT coming home without my baby!" I didn't care if it was 2:00 in the morning, she was prepared to spend the night with Kaiden at our house and as long as I was back home by 8:00 she wouldn't have to take a day off work.
God was with us on that Monday. I got down there just before 11:00 so that I could begin my portion of the agenda, which was the at home care training and to politely encourage the nurses that we were ALL ready to go home. Of course Dave told me on the phone that if when he got there the nurses hated me for bugging them about Pierce leaving that he wasn't going to talk to me in the halls for fear of being guilty by association. They were actually very encouraged by our 'zest' to get Pierce home, they told us that some parents are scared to leave the safety of the NICU and tend to put off or find reasons why discharge isn't right, which I can understand but thankfully that was not us! Our discharge nurse Terry was AWESOME! She basically told me that since Dave and I had worked so hard to get our checklists completed and since Pierce had completed all of his agenda items except the circumcision she would start the discharge procedures. She had called the surgeon but he was dealing with more pressing matters, understandably we were not upset and said that the priority was to get him home ASAP circ or no circ! But like everything else that day, things worked out Dr. P, his surgeon was able to make it by his room while we were going over the discharge papers, he did a quick procedure and once Pierce pee'd we were able to head home.
Leaving Children's
I know it seems silly but putting the carseat in my car Sunday night was as exciting as the day I found out I was pregnant with him! I was giddy packing the car with all the bags and containers I could think of to bring down there with me to speed along the process. And thankfully the Robinson's live en route to the hospital and agreed to take Kaiden for the day. So I had Mom stop by Sunday night and gave her a quick 'how to' on putting Kaiden's car seat in her car and got everything he could possibly need for the day packed and ready to go.
I dropped Kaiden off, which I thought might be hard for him since this was the first time I had taken him to their house and not stayed to play, but we walked in and Uncle Todd had his laptop out attempting to work, and Kaiden asked to see a picture of the 'moona' and that was that. I called my Mom when I was pulling out of their driveway and told her "I'm NOT coming home without my baby!" I didn't care if it was 2:00 in the morning, she was prepared to spend the night with Kaiden at our house and as long as I was back home by 8:00 she wouldn't have to take a day off work.
God was with us on that Monday. I got down there just before 11:00 so that I could begin my portion of the agenda, which was the at home care training and to politely encourage the nurses that we were ALL ready to go home. Of course Dave told me on the phone that if when he got there the nurses hated me for bugging them about Pierce leaving that he wasn't going to talk to me in the halls for fear of being guilty by association. They were actually very encouraged by our 'zest' to get Pierce home, they told us that some parents are scared to leave the safety of the NICU and tend to put off or find reasons why discharge isn't right, which I can understand but thankfully that was not us! Our discharge nurse Terry was AWESOME! She basically told me that since Dave and I had worked so hard to get our checklists completed and since Pierce had completed all of his agenda items except the circumcision she would start the discharge procedures. She had called the surgeon but he was dealing with more pressing matters, understandably we were not upset and said that the priority was to get him home ASAP circ or no circ! But like everything else that day, things worked out Dr. P, his surgeon was able to make it by his room while we were going over the discharge papers, he did a quick procedure and once Pierce pee'd we were able to head home.
Leaving Children's
So there is this common thought of new parents, especially after the birth of their first child - the "oh my gosh what are they thinking letting us leave here with this precious little baby!" Well we joked about the walk out of the NICU being a quick paced, 'don't draw any attention' let's get out of here before they realize that we're gone kind of walk. Dave was so excited his baby boy was coming home that he wanted to carry Pierce in his arms, and I got to haul around the empty car seat, which all things considered was almost as exciting.
The Drive Home
Since Dave and I meet down at CHOA we both had to drive home, not quite the same as when we brought Kaiden home and I got to sit in the back and coo at him, but the end results would be the same and that made me a happy Mommy. I wasn't nervous or anxious, honestly I felt triumphant! I was so proud of myself for sticking to my guns about getting Pierce home that day, and SO excited to finally have MY baby - believe it or not I was starting to get baby fever. I mean you find out you're pregnant, you go through morning sickness, dr. appointments, and lots of waiting and day dreaming about your sweet new baby and then you make it to D-day have the kiddo and nothing - no baby comes home - no real change in daily life - no missed sleep talk about a huge let down.
Having a baby who doesn't come home with you from the hospital is a weird situation. It's a very hard and confusing feeling to explain; it's like knowing something is missing but not actually acknowledging it. But at the same time since he had never actually been home (outside of my belly) it wasn't that big of a void physically but emotionally it was tearing my heart out. I mean blame it on my Catholic roots, but there was a lot of guilt involved in those first few weeks, A LOT! If I was home with Kaiden I felt guilt that I was enjoying myself and resting or napping or having a 'normal' day. And when I was down at the hospital with Pierce away from Kaiden I felt guilt that I was turning Kaiden's daily routine upside down, neglecting him and his feelings for his little brother - a good example of the saying "rock and a hard place." Of course Father Rob said to leave the guilt out of it, where ever I was, was exactly where I needed to be and not to waste time or energy being consumed with guilt. Also because the joke in the Episcopal church is 'all the liturgy of Catholicism but none of the guilt' - love it!
We Made It!
I'm glad to see that your boy is home with you now and you can start getting into a routine with the 2 of them!! yay!
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