The Kirk's - Boys-R-Us!

Living Life To The Extremes

The NICU - A roller coaster of emotions! But I'd like a refund!

After a week of ultra sounds, EKGs, X-rays, blood tests and other various labs and speaking with the neonatologist, the general pediatric surgeon and the cardiologist along with a couple dozen therapists and nurses we had heard it all and yet were still kind of confused.

Anyone who has experience with a hospital knows that they always give you the worst case scenario and then work backwards - I guess that is to CYA! So I got a call from the cardiologist and when I got off the phone with her I cried thinking about our sweet little Pierce having to have open heart surgery - this was the first time we were told this was the likely outcome for him. I was frightened by her report of the 'rather large holes' in the atria and ventricles and that we were probably looking at 6 months for his age at surgery vs. 12-18 months. Then the general surgeon spoke with Dave and went over the plan to do both repairs (for the diaphragm) at the same time as his open heart surgery. And then he went on to explain that although we were in shock the repair for his ASD & VSD are actually the most common heart defects and therefore the most common procedures. So we felt much better. Then once we made it in to the hospital I met with his neonatologist and he really calmed my nerves and explained everything that they had done and were planning to do for Pierce in the coming days and even gave me a 'plan of action' which gave me something to focus on. Up to this point there had been 6 or 7 days of different tests being run and we were getting all of the results which was great but no one had told us what the next step was or when we were getting to bring our baby home. Having a plan (especially for someone like me who LOVES planning!) made me feel sane and under control for the first time since very early Tuesday morning!!

Lots of Loving from our Friends!

I know I have mentioned it in my update emails which were all I had time for at the time, but we have the MOST AMAZING friends who are our family! And we got so much love and support from them it really helped to make life feel a little more normal and its always a great feeling to know you and your family are loved!

As many of you know we thought that Pierce was going to have to undergo surgery at the beginning of his second week to repair his diaphragm - they had been preparing us for four days that come Monday they were going to operate. We were stressed. Yes we were supportive of whatever they told us they thought they needed to do to make our baby healthy and move forward on his road to recovery, but NO ONE wants to think about their sweet little baby laying on an operation table and having their ribs cracked open and a lung deflated - it's scary for an adult now multiply that by a thousand and you start to know what I was feeling. Thankfully it turned out that the morning of his surgery they did one last contrast scan and determined that his diaphragm was healthier than they originally thought and that the decided the risk of deflating his lung and the intense recovery from that kind of procedure wasn't warranted and so they called it off! Thank God and all his angels that helped that to happen!

Believe it or not, we have felt very "Lucky" with all that has occured with Pierce, and let's not forget the boy was born on St. Patrick's Day, so when I saw this blanket at Target I HAD to get it for him. We certainly felt very lucky when they decided they didn't need to perform the surgery!

The HIGHS

The great thing was that the Sunday before Pierce's scheduled surgery we had two of our great friends come down the Egleston (which we appreciate more than you can imagine because; 1. it's a haul to get down there and 2. it's a weekend, which is precious time and 3. even family members never made that trip). We hadn't been there too long when my dear friend Beckie and her family got there, unfortunately since children under three are the equivalent to the monkey from outbreak in a NICU her husband had to sit in the waiting room with their beautiful six month old baby girl while she got to come back and love on Pierce. Of course being the wonderful friend I am I don't think I got a picture of them together, but I'll always have the memories! ;o) Anyway it was great to get to see her and to spend some time catching up and just feeling 'normal' I mean nothing makes a NICU seem more like home than to have great friends there hanging out just because they love you and want to spend time supporting you. Just as they were leaving our other friends the Robinsons showed up and they of course had Ashy with them which made Kaiden's day because they hadn't seen each other in almost three weeks - that's a long time to go without your girlfriend! Both Todd & Mel took turns going back and holding Pierce and at one point I think we left "Grandma Jan" with both toddlers and all four of us ended up in Pierce's room but just for a minute we didn't want Mom to end up in a ball in the corner and have the terrible two'some take over the library! They loved it in there, there were computers, books and games - they were having a blast! It really was one of the BEST days we had since Pierce was born and I certainly left the hospital that afternoon with the warm-fuzzies.

Kaiden Loved Getting a Visit From His Girlfriend Ashlyn - Look How Pretty She Looked!!

The LOWS

So on my 'love high' I was excited to get to spend some quality time with Kaiden. Dave's Mom was in town and she was giving Kaiden his bubble bath and Dave and I got to sit and eat a hot meal in peace - a rarity for moms!! Once Kaiden was out of the tub Dave and Mary got him in his PJs and then I was going to read him his books and do rock-a-bye till he fell asleep. Dave and I decided that I needed to spend some more quality time with Kaiden to try and help him to better adjust to me being gone so much and to the poor boy having to spend so much time in the car seat driving down and back to the hospital and then having to spend the majority of his time down there in the kitchen or library. I was ready for some sweet snuggle time and headed upstairs. I got up there grabbed his favorite blanket, bug-a-boo books and turned on the lamp and got in the rocking chair for Dave to hand him to me. As Dave leaned down to give me Kaiden he started crying. Not that big of a deal, we all know that he is CRAZY over his daddy. So I said "OK Kaiden give Daddy kisses for night-night and we're going to read books" So Dave gave him a couple kisses and headed out the door - I'm a seasoned pro - I've got this! YEAH RIGHT! So once Dave is out the door his cries turn into complete panic shrills - if you had been standing in the hall you would have thought I was gnawing his arm off! And the more I try to reassure him that everything is ok and attempt to calm him down the more upset we were both becoming. Now remember we had a LONG day with friends at the hospital, plus we missed nap time, I thought Pierce was having surgery the next day AND I was only a week and a half out of surgery - not an excuse just background info. Kaiden was SCREAMING "DADA, DADA, Daddy a dada!" and so on louder and louder with each scream and breaking my heart at the same time. Luckily Dave was on his way back up to the room to calm him down but he had no idea he was going to have to calm me down too!

When Dave opened the door the poor guy walked in to find me bawling just as hard as Kaiden was screaming for him! The 'parent guilt' NEVER ends, especially when you have one baby 70+ miles away in a NICU and a toddler who is used to your undivided attention. It was a rough night - it took me a few minutes to compose myself and Dave tried to talk to Kaiden and explain that he was hurting my feelings and that he needed to give me a kiss, but that wasn't what Kaiden wanted to do, so I got up from the chair and let Dave do the night time routine while I went and crawled in bed.

Another High

My Boys DO Love Me!

Well as I'm sure all you parents know that wont be the last time one of my kids does something that will break my heart or bring me to tears. But I must say when I made it down to the hospital the next day besides the GREAT news that Pierce didn't have to have the surgery imagine my surprise to find this absolutely stunning bouquet of flowers with a sweet card that said "Thanks for being such a good Mom and wife. Love Pierce, Kaiden and Daddy" Of course this made me tear up but again, it was the good kind of tears! I must point out that those are my FAVORITE roses - it's what we had at our wedding.