The Kirk's - Boys-R-Us!

The Kid's Got Heart!!

Pierce's Cardiology Check-Up

Well, let me start by telling you just how much I was looking forward to this appointment (INSERT sarcastic eye roll here!)  I mean seriously a cardiology appointment with a defiant two year old who has not a problem with anything you do to him UNLESS it's attempting to hold him still or in one place for any length of time!  Add to that of course I was traveling with both of my boys so I have a 3.5 year old who doesn't necisarially give a diddly squat about being patient while brother has his bianual test run ~ and HOW could you forget to multiply all that by the fact that I am still on modified bedrest!!  Oh yea, you guessed it - it was an EPIC FAIL in the making!!!

At The Starting Gate
So in some attempt to actually ever get to places on time, I had set out the boys outfits upstairs, and after breakfast I was attempting to get them dressed.  Luckily Kaiden is pretty self sufficient in this area, SO long as you have let him make the final decision on his ensemble, now Pierce could care less what he wears but what he does do is take off - hauling butt - in the opposite direction, laughing and giggling the whole time.  Yeah, he thinks getting dressed is a chase game ~ I have to admit it is kind of hilarious, but ONLY when you are not in a time crunch to load up and drive 30 miles to a doctors appointment!!  And oh yea, thats right, I can't technically 'give chase' so I just set the house alarm, grab his clothes and ambush him in the garage!!  This mom has STILL got it!!  And I will take that victory whenever it comes!!!  Hahaha

The Appointment From Hell
No this is not an exaggeration of a title for dramatic effect - seriously, and I do NOT blame them if they did, but we were that appointment that when we left I am sure they cussed Pierce for being so bad and me for having no control over him.  What's that I hear ~ yet another nomination for Mom Of The Year, why thank you!!!

So being pregnant & on a mission to beat camels in water consumption each day, you can imagine what I had to do once we checked in. . . the receptionist pointed down the hall to the restroom.  So I said "OK boys, come with me, I have to go to the potty (yes, I admit it, a college educated woman saying potty in public, but you gotta play to your audience right?!)"  Kaiden thankfully still playing on the angel team, hopped up from his toy and headed down the hallway in the right direction, Pierce on the other hand attempted to hide is 32 pound body in a magazine basket while kicking and screaming "NO NO NO" ~ and since I am not supposed to carry them, I get to more or less drag him (he was taking reluctant steps, but in NO way being compliant) the 15-20 steps to the restroom while hollering like a chimpanzee who saw someone looking at his bananas.

When we get escorted back to our room, only after the nurse promised Pierce there were more toys back in the room, to which he let out an all too clearly disapproving 'noooooooooo' as he tossed one by one the ten or so toys from the shelf once we were in the room.  Yea, he was a REAL treat!!  SO, since it's a cardiology appointment there are a few standard baseline vitals they need to get, nothing too complicated mind you, just things like a pulse ox reading, pulse rate and blood pressure.  Yup we got ONE crossed off the list before the proverbial shit hit the fan!  Pierce sat on the floor long enough for the girl to put the little finger tip pulse ox reader on, hold it in place for ten (yes ONLY 10 seconds) and that was it ~ Pierce was done.  He was beligerent, saying no screeching "all done!!" and this is when she went for the blood pressure cuff.  The nurse attempted to distract Pierce by offering him a soft block which has a removable square rattle (I am SURE she regretted this choice seconds later!!) She did actually get it around his arm, fastened in place I think she may have even attempted to take a reading but since he was kicking, screaming, red-faced, holding his breath and being an all around delight, we knew that we wouldn't be able to use the results as valid ~ you know you're supposed to sit quietly for the 20 seconds it takes to inflate the cuff and get a reading ~ yeah didn't happen, it was about this time that Pierce removed the square block rattle and slammed it down on the little (think like 95 pounds soaking wet) nurse's wrist, where it immediately formed a purple bump, which I can only assume was her blood vessle bursting open.  I immediately grabbed up Pierce and reprimanded him then did my best to hold him still while a new nurse (can't imagine why the first wouldn't want to stay in the room with the devil child who just bust her wrist up) attempted a second reading.  We were in there attempting to get the blood pressure reading for more than 15 minutes and the doctor and his students came in while Pierce was in full on rage mode (imagine a scene from Swamp People while they're wresteling a gator) Dr. Khan said lets hold off on upsetting him anymore cause we need to get a scan of his heart & I need to take a listen.  SO abort mission on the blood pressure, I am NOT at all ashamed to say I volunteered for them to give him some 'happy juice' or other form of sedative, to which they replied "well we have to at least have his baseline blood pressure before administering those drugs"  HAHAHA damn!

From Bad To Worse
So we leave the room and head up the hall for his scan & EKG - for this they have to use ultrasound machines, watch the flow of blood, both watch and listen to each of the chambers and blood passing through and of course the EKG, well that involves hooking him up with no less than a dozen super sticky electrodes, have him remain still for 5-10 minutes while a consistent rythem is recorded on the print out.  HAHAHAHAHA  yeah that test wasn't even attempted yesterday!  I am not laughing cause I think it's funny that my kid acted like a total ass (although our very sweet doctor assured me that he was not that bad and that all kids have good days and bad days, and that it just wasn't Pierce's day ~ you see why we LOVE this guy?!) but that if you know Pierce, he is normally so laid back, go with the flow, and super silly, but yesterday at the appointment he was anything but that!  Now Andrea, who runs the ultrasound machine is also FABULOUS (everyone at the office is great) but she is SO good at what she does, she has a nice soothing (and foreign) voice which usually helps keep him nice and quiet & they have things for them to look at on the ceiling, and around the room.  As I'm sure you've already guessed, Pierce wasn't falling for any of it yesterday.  NONE of my stand-by tricks worked, even the fact that they gave him a lollipop was a moot point!  Through two of us holding him down, me attempting to lull him into peacefulness by both singing softly in his ear & letting him listen to his favorite Curious George music on my phone we were able to get the scan done & enough good images and sound bites for the doc to actually do a full (or good enough) evaluation on him.

The End Results
I was stressed like you wouldn't believe!!  I had broken a sweat attempting to keep my greased pig, I mean Pierce, calm for a 10 minute scan & 15 minutes worth of attempted blood pressure reading.  And  Kaiden who had been previously persuaded to behave with a piece of lime gum, had since decided that he was DONE with this visit (mind you we were in and out in about an hour) thought that the best way to speed along the remainder of our visit with Dr. Khan was to tell me rather loudly (and OMG SO RUDELY) "Mom, you need to be done talking" and "STOP talking MOM" - Pierce at this point had been distracted by Toy Story 3 on Netflix (SERIOUSLY HOW did Mom's do it before technology & iphones!?) and I think I had started to have an anxiety attack about how much stress this was & hardly heard what he said the results were.  I know he said he though Pierce was looking great. That we would do one more six month check up and then move to annual check ups & something about a slightly leaky valve, but I couldn't remember the details.  I just needed to GET OUT!!  We made it back to the car - I strapped them both in (that is the BEST part about being in the car, of course the trade off there is that you are trapped in a car with one or two screaming/fighting kids) and I drank what was left of my water, thinking this would help cool me down and ward off any complications my certainly elevated blood pressure may be having.  My girlfriend Vickie helped to calm me down some, although Pierce (who I am guessing was exhausted at this point) began screaming, to which my answer was to turn off the air conditioner and roll with the windows down - as much for a distraction as for a white noise (Oops, can't nominate me twice in one post for mom of the year, but thanks for trying!) - whatever it was it worked, Pierce was sound asleep in five minutes flat and once out, Kaiden and I were able to roll the windows up and enjoy peace and A/C!!

Follow Up
After speaking with the Doc on the phone today it was a slightly leaky Mitral Valve, but he said it is not of any real concern at this point and it will in no way restrict what we can let Pierce do!!  So that all sounds good enough for me for now!!